natasharubyart

I spent years writing a book about my life. Thousands of words of memory, dug up and arranged and revised until I could recite whole scenes from it. I still could not read some of it without my body reacting. That is why I started EMDR. And once I did, my brain began handing me things I had not thought about in decades. I came to it after a long stretch with a therapist I could not connect with. She canceled about as often as we met, and when we did meet, she often let me out fifteen or...

It has been a couple of weeks since I wrote here. Life has been full in mostly good ways: painting, working, preparing for some travel, navigating oil changes and tire crises, and slowly shifting from the enormous task of writing a book to the entirely different one of bringing it into the world. So, an actual update: Latter-day Psychosis is planned for release on November 17, 2026. Even typing that feels strange. For years, this book existed as fragments. Memories, old journal entries,...

Yesterday I turned 36, quietly. The house was still, the dogs were nearby, and the soft hum of ordinary life moved around me. Lance was away playing a wedding, and the day unfolded slowly. I watched some Housewives, of course. I rested. I moved from room to room without needing to make the day look impressive from the outside. For my birthday, Lance gifted me a spa day. I let myself be cared for. I let someone else work the tension from my shoulders, my neck, my tired body. I let the room be...